SEX, BULLYING AND THE UNCERTAINTY IN BETWEEN.
Molly McFarlane, Special Contributor
I moved to a small town an hour and a half north of Toronto halfway through grade one. Although fortunate to live in a beautiful new home on the lake, the closest public school to my home was one neighbourhood over. Of course my parents couldn’t have known that this school was recognized as being one of the more tough schools in town - we were completely new to the area.
Over the subsequent two and a half years that my brother and I remained at that school, I underwent significant issues with bullying - name calling, threats - you name it. An incident that I can still visualize with precise vividness, even some fourteen years later, is when one of my classmates shoved a clump of burs almost the size of a volleyball into my long hair. This was the last straw for my parents after spending hours rotating between sinks and bathtubs filled with oil and water trying to get the burs out. Needless to say they tried to get us into many different schools in town, but because our home was not in any of these school zones they were out of luck. Eventually it was decided that my brother and I would attend a local, private Christian school where I completed grades four through eight and he grades two through eight.
I had been raised with typical Christian holiday traditions. We had some religious and some not-so-religious immediate and extended family members, so it was not exactly a foreign concept for us to end up where we did.
I will start by saying that I did have a very enriching experience at this school over the course of the five years. I know those experiences played an instrumental part in shaping the morals and values I hold today, but there were always a number of things considered off-limits for any kind of in-depth classroom discussion: sexual education and substance use awareness.
Of course we covered basic body concepts, but let me tell you:
I was not prepared for the craziness that was high school when I arrived.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t live under a total rock, but I did feel underprepared in my knowledge of the teen culture that existed in high school such as relationships, sex, drinking, partying - many of us can relate.
I thought these were things I should have learned more about in elementary school. I was very fortunate because my parents did not shelter my brother or I growing up. We were involved and part of our communities through athletics and volunteer activities. They were also very approachable and willing to answer any questions my brother or I did have. Collectively, these circumstances made the transition to high school much smoother for us than for many of the students we went to elementary school with.
It is here where my concern lies. There are parents who are hesitant to facilitate these important conversations with their children because they are awkward; parents who do not believe these conversations are necessary to have with their children at all; parents who believe it is a teacher’s role to teach their children about these topics; leaving an abundance of parents somewhere on the fence of fluidity.
Kids need to know.
They need to know about their bodies and the changes they will undergo as they get older. They need to know about self-esteem and how to maintain their mental health. They need to know what healthy and unhealthy relationships look, sound, and feel like, and they need to feel comfortable to ask questions.
We live in a world where relationships, sex, drugs, partying, and the like are a huge part of teen culture.
It is unfair to limit elementary students with an outdated health and physical education curriculum especially when it has been updated by educational professionals to address the culture of our modern day social experience.
Needless to say, of course I feel that parents have the right to be involved in what their children are learning at school in terms of all things related to health and physical education, the same way they do for any other subjects. However, I have also come to realize that many examples and specific topics for discussion are left to the teacher with this new curriculum, and I want to believe that the people who are entrusted to enrich students’ learning experiences are seasoned and practiced enough to recognize their students’ needs and exercise discretion.
It is the responsibility of higher administration to ensure that all teachers have the tools and resources available to them to feel comfortable and confident when teaching their students about these important topics in ways which are age-appropriate. It comes down to being attentive to the needs of students and creating a comfortable classroom environment where questions and discussions about these important topics can be facilitated in a safe and healthy way without compromising the childhood experience.
